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I believe it’s safe to state being an instructor is never for
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From wrangling rowdy kids all the time to handling needs from their ever-persistent moms and dads, instructors have A LOT of ideas about their task that they’re not enabled to vocalize without, y’ understand, getting fired and whatnot. Well, a hot minute back, instructor, and redditor u/Feisty-Database -1145 got to the bottom of it by asking fellow public school instructors, “What’s something you want parents to know but can’t say directly?” Here are 21 ideas, tough realities, and tricks that instructors want everybody understood:
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1.
“This whole education operation is held together with bubble gum, duct tape, and a single office secretary who is really good at their job.”
— u/SirBigBossSpur
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2.
“Teach your children how to regulate their feelings without being a destructive or disruptive turdmuffin. You, parents, are their first teacher; their behavior is a reflection of you.”
— u/PeregrineTopaz06
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3.
“Your kindergartner is not an accurate source of truth. They may be intentionally lying, but they also just don’t have enough life experience to completely understand situations.”
— u/Electronic-Rope -6113
“Kids lie to their parents constantly. That doesn’t make them liars, but they will lie to avoid trouble.”
— u/[deleted]
“All kids lie. It’s not ‘bad kids lie, good kids don’t lie.’ All kids lie, whether you want to believe it or not. They may be 100% honest with you about a difficult topic, but then lie to you about a missing pencil.”
— u/AdhesiveSeaMonkey
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4.
“Kids will tell all of your business. Lose your job? Don’t say that around your kid. Had a fight with your spouse last night? Keep it quiet.”
— u/Alternative _ Chest118
“Please don’t believe everything that your child comes home and says, and I won’t believe everything your child tells us. 😂 If you have any issues, please email their teacher, don’t go straight to the principal.”
— u/No _ Reporter2768
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5.
“Please don’t expect a quick, unscheduled check-in at drop off or pick up. I don’t have time to go over test scores five minutes before I need to pick up the class. I also can’t tell you how your kid’s day was in front of everyone — especially if it was hard. If you need to talk to the teacher about something, schedule time to speak to them or email them.”
— u/Particular _ Waltz8121
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6.
“HS teacher here. My coworkers and I were just talking about how we wish parents understood that it’s okay for their kids to be uncomfortable in a new group of people, feel a bit of stress if they procrastinate, and be a little anxious before a presentation. There are countless opportunities to practice how to build resilience in these situations throughout their school years, but it will not help if parents cover for them.”
— u/Reasonable _ Place_481
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7.
“This is (possibly) your first time raising a 5-year-old. Teachers see all kinds of kids year after year at that exact age, so your child’s teacher is an expert at kindergartners. Even if they’re younger than you, they likely have more experience with 5 and 6-year-olds than you do. They are a valuable resource, especially when there are concerns about what is developmentally appropriate.”
— u/NervousCatfish
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8.
“Make your child as independent as possible. Do NOT wipe them after they poop. They need the practice. Have them practice putting papers in a folder and the folder in a backpack. Give them two- and three-step instructions to practice (and so you’re aware if they can’t do it). It is totally fine for them not to know how to tie their shoes, but then don’t send them in with shoes that tie. In fact, they need to be dressed head to toe in clothes that they can take off and put on without *any* help at all.”
“Practice zipping jackets and coats. Make sure they can put on and take off snow gear. Snow boots that have velcro (or even better, just ones that you step in) are great. Write their name in everything. Everyone buys the same stuff at Costco.
Parents just do so much for their kids that they don’t even think about it because it’s quicker, easier, or cleaner, but it is doing a huge disservice to your child, who then can’t wipe themselves or put their shoes on without help.”
— u/Mysterious-Name -3297
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9.
“I used to teach first grade. Go over proper bathroom behaviors and reinforce handwashing. For boys, make sure they know how to use a urinal properly. I can *NOT* stress it enough. I’m a male teacher, and I did a year working with kindergarten. Holy crap, have I got stories of having to go into the boys’ bathroom for behaviors. I saw everything from kids who took off their pants entirely to use a urinal, to someone getting their foot stuck in a toilet, and even a boy who really had to go poop so he just sat in the urinal and went in front of all the other boys, resulting in everyone screaming bloody murder.”
“Also, be understanding of this if you get a phone call. The father of the kid who sat in the urinal to poop flipped out that I had gone into the bathroom when there was screaming, I guess assuming I just hung out in the bathroom with kids rather than reacting to the yelling. If we have to go into a bathroom for behaviors, it is NOT because we wanted to.”
— u/Hungry _ Caregiver734
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“1. Read to your child every day without fail. 2. Attendance is not optional or for when you ~feel like it~. 3. The idea that you ‘can’t’ do something because you are ‘bad’ at it is false. No, you just haven’t practiced enough.”
— u/NoOccasion4759
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11.
“Your child will not outgrow ADHD. Essential oils will not ‘cure’ it, nor will eliminating food dyes. Telling them to just try harder won’t help, either. Do your research… Get them help! It’s like telling a diabetic to just will it and their bodies will produce the right amount of insulin. Or telling a child who needs glasses to just try and see harder.”
— u/TeacherLady3
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12.
“It’s OK for your kid to be average. Don’t make the mistake of thinking your kid’s a genius. They don’t have to get straight A’s. Hell, they don’t have to get straight B’s. Your kid is going to be fine if you do your part and encourage them to advocate for themself, rather than you, the parent, always trying to intervene. No kid is good at every subject. Help your kid succeed at what they are best at, and help them if they are struggling with other subjects by having them go to their teachers without you jumping in to protect them.”
“I’ve yet to meet a teacher who wants to see a student fail, but teachers who allow students to struggle are teaching them a valuable lesson about life, as well as math. Struggle is good.
Just, please, let the teacher teach. They know what they’re doing. Just because you went to school doesn’t mean you know how to school.”
— u/Prudent _ Tap3271
“Your kid might just be mediocre, and that’s okay.”
— u/GingerGetThePopc0rn
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13.
“You cannot simply assume schools will handle everything. Stop giving your kids phones to stare at all day. It’s terrible for their development.”
— u/[deleted]
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14.
“In general, please try to communicate by email instead of phone/in person meetings. Maybe once a year, a situation arises that’s complex or serious enough that it warrants an in-person meeting or call. I had a parent recently upset about her son’s grade on a project. I wrote her a detailed email explaining exactly why he got that grade, with specific examples and information about the rubric. She responded, asking for an in-person meeting to discuss further. But there’s nothing to discuss. Her kid has a B. He did a mediocre job on this one assignment. I HATE that I’m going to have to spend even more of my time talking about this. It shouldn’t require further conversation.”
— u/Bizzy1717
“Some parents ask for in-person meetings (especially after you’ve already explained) because they think that will intimidate you into giving them what they want.”
— u/Wonderful-Ganache 812
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15.
“No news is good news. If your child is doing well and the teacher isn’t constantly contacting you, there’s no need to be on top of them. If there’s an issue, they’ll let you know.”
— u/ohboynotanotherone
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16.
“Send in the requested supplies. If more are needed, we will let you know. There’s only so much space for storage.”
— u/ohboynotanotherone
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“I’m a high school teacher. For older students, follow the teacher’s lead in how involved you should be. Releasing your child to the teacher/school is one of the best things for the child and you. And, unless it has been shown to be wildly incorrect, your kid’s teacher has their best interests in mind. Treat them as such. Just as you kids need to know that you are trustworthy enough to hold them accountable, make sure you support your teacher’s decisions the same way…in front of your child at the very least.”
— u/AdhesiveSeaMonkey
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18.
“High school teacher and mother of four here — remember to let your kids start advocating for themselves as early as possible. Seriously. Second and third grade. Let your kids send emails asking teachers the questions you all have, like, ‘Is it crazy sock day tomorrow or next Friday?’ You can always have them cc you on it. Absolutely let them send those emails if they have missed an assignment (or erred in any other way — I’m a big believer in the apology email for misbehavior). Being able to politely communicate for themselves and take responsibility from an early age sets them up for later success. They have more confidence in their abilities and less anxiety when interacting with adults when they’re teenagers.”
“There is nothing sadder to me than a parent of a senior in high school emailing on behalf of their 18-year-old. You just know that family is in for some tough times ahead.”
— u/North-Produce 4523
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19.
“Talk, talk, talk to your kids!!! Relay your day, even to your babies. It’s wild how few words these kids know! It is hindering their education! I’m in an affluent district, and just yesterday, a third-grader didn’t know what the word ‘cactus’ meant, and a kindergartner didn’t understand the word ‘both.’ 😣😣😣”
— u/Successful-Winter 237
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20.
“Don’t send expensive things into school. We know you want your child to look adorable, but we guarantee you that it might get lost or taken home by another child. Also, do not waste your money on expensive backpacks embroidered with their name. Sometimes, schools will just write their name across the bag with a black magic marker.”
— u/Sense _ Difficult
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21.
“Your child’s success in school largely depends on you.”
— u/Bulky _ Pepper5833
“You are the primary teacher of your child. Your performance expectations and tone are what the young person is listening to. Don’t delegate this responsibility to the schools, mainstream media, or your community. Take responsibility for their education and raising.”
— u/HamsterQuirky9422
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Are you an instructor? In the remarks or confidential kind listed below, inform us the tricks, tough facts, and other things you realllllly want you might inform moms and dads, however understand you ‘d get fired if you really did.
Keep in mind: Submissions have actually been modified for length and/or clearness.
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